Another Sh*tty Job

By Carrie Lynn – OnOption Blog
@carrielynna

Each time I’m at a job, I find myself in deep conversations with the hair stylists and makeup artists. I think of them as therapists…but better! These ones actually talk back…and make us feel and look good!!! While getting my pre-shooting therapy in, a conversation came up about bad job experiences. We’ve all been on shoots, I’m sure, where we would just love to tell everyone to @$#% off and walk out. Of course I’ve never done this, it would be totally unprofessional! But the thought has crossed my mind several times!

My second season down in Miami I was shooting for a fitness magazine. I was actually excited about this job. It may have had to do with the gorgeous Brazilian guy I was shooting with…I could write a separate blog about him! WOW! Anyway, we were shooting bicycles and cycling gear. My excitement started to die when they started to put my hair up. Talk about a confidence killer! Why? Because I’m basically a human Dumbo. My brother actually gave me the nickname when I was little. I blame him for being self-conscious! I danced growing up and each recital he would always be able to pick me out on the stage because I was the one with “the ears!” Yep! He was mean! I’m scarred for life! Needless to say I’ve grown into them, or at least I thought I had.

After the first half of the day we started shooting some pictures straight on. Uh oh! Ear alert! The photographer would not stop making an issue about my ears. According to her, they were messing up the shot, and she couldn’t get the picture!!! Who says this openly? Does she not know I’m a living, breathing human? After about an hour of her b*tching about my ears, and trying tape and other weird ways to pin them back, they decided the only way to fix it was to put a helmet on my head! Not a bad idea! The geniuses couldn’t have thought about that sooner?! It would have been a lot less traumatic to my psyche if someone had given the woman a filter.

I did all I could to hold back tears until I left. Let me tell you the second I walked out of that door I could not keep it together. I cried Justin a river alright. (You know like the song “Cry Me A River”) Okay, not funny! Looking back it doesn’t seem as bad as it felt at the time. It could have been worse!

After talking to “the therapist” about my worst job. She went on to tell me some stories she had heard. She was working with a model that topped my worst job. Apparently the model was in hair and makeup and the make up artist needed to use the restroom. When he came back they continued putting foundation on her face. Although, something was different about this foundation. It was dark…too dark! SO GROSS! Homie never washed his hands and ended up smearing his poop on her face!!! I am not sure how I would have reacted. I’ve tried to put myself in her shoes a few times now and I just end up gagging each time. I think I’m always going to be OCD about the makeup artists washing their hands before touching my face now. To think I thought I had it bad just being teased all day. Talk about a sh*tty day! Gagging still.

Can any of you top that??? I sure cant’!