Taking care of a family member can be a rewarding experience as it fosters a sense of togetherness. While caregiving helps to strengthen bonds in the family, it can also present a host of challenges, especially if you’re part of the sandwich generation, which are individuals who are taking care of an elderly parent and minor children at the same time. According to the World Economic Forum, 54 percent of Americans in their 40s have a living parent age 65 and older and are raising a child younger than 18.
Being sandwiched between an aging parent and children can be overwhelming, and most dual caregivers report being spread too thin due to their ever-increasing responsibilities. If you’re taking care of multiple family members, you need to keep various aspects of your life intact so you can keep providing love and support without endangering your wellbeing. Here’s how to deal with daily challenges as a dual caregiver.
Create a Plan to Share Caregiving Tasks and Responsibilities
Women take on most of the caregiving tasks in mixed generation households, and recent data indicates that they make up 60 percent of the sandwich generation. They also spend as much as 50 percent more time providing care than men. As a result, a lot of women who are dual caregivers end up being stressed and exhausted. Being constantly tired and feeling mentally drained can have repercussions on your health and wellness, so to avoid burnout, think about creating a plan to share caregiving tasks with other family members.
For instance, if you’re in charge of making your family’s meals and taking the kids to school, ask a sibling or your partner to take over other duties, such as taking your elderly parent to the doctor. Think about each family member’s strengths while assigning tasks, as well as their limitations so that nobody is inconvenienced. For example, your sister may not have the means to buy your parent’s medication, but if she lives nearby, perhaps she can look after your elderly loved one while you’re attending your child’s soccer game. Meanwhile, your brother who lives far away may be tasked to look into aged care homes and make arrangements for short-term respite care if you need a break or if you have to travel for work. There’s always a way for everyone to pitch in, so have a family conversation and write down what each member is willing to contribute.
Talk to Your Employer About Flexible Work Options
Having to take care of your family, go to the office, and come back to more caregiving duties everyday can make you feel anxious and on edge. It’s understandable that you want to devote most of your time for your aging relative, your kids, and your work. However, you also need to keep in mind that having time for yourself is essential for your mental and physical health. For better work-life balance, consider talking to your employer if they’ll allow you to have flexible work hours. You may also want to ask if they would consider a work from home or hybrid work arrangement.
Prepare Ahead of Time
Anything can happen while you’re caring for your aging parent and kids, so you need to be ready to deal with problems before they occur. Be prepared to deal with emergencies by keeping important contact details on your phone and in visible places in your home. Have a medical emergency plan in place, and write down what everyone needs to do in case you’re not home to deal with it yourself. You also need to have a list of trusted people that you can ask to look after your kids in case you have to take your parent to the hospital and there’s no one else around to watch them.
Apart from preparing for emergencies, you also need to have sufficient funds to cover current and future caregiving costs. Start saving part of your paycheck and put away money for emergency funds in case of sudden hospitalizations or additional treatments. Ask siblings and relatives to chip in– every cent counts, since these can be expensive. You may also want to consult an estate planning expert to help your family deal with estate taxes and funeral arrangements, among others. It may be awkward to do so, but it needs to be done so you can have peace of mind and you won’t have to figure out what to do on the fly.
Caring for kids and an elderly family member can be challenging, but by communicating with your employer, sharing tasks with your loved ones, and being prepared for emergencies, you can have an easier time dealing with everything that may come your way. Remember that your health and happiness is just as important as everyone else’s. Take a break whenever you need one so you can have the capacity to keep providing care for your loved ones.
