Marriage – one of life’s greatest blessings, especially when you get to spend your life with the one you love. The worldwide wedding market in 2024 was sized at $295815.2 million. Thousands of couples have tied the knot this year so far.
In 2023, millennials continued to dominate the marriage market as 75% of unions involved couples of this generation.
Just like there is nothing new under the sun when it comes to the honeymoon period, every couple gradually finds their marriage hitting a rough patch that they must overcome. They may have to schedule quality time, marriage sex therapy, or couples counseling to overcome the rough patch.
Once they do so, the good news is their bond gets stronger than ever. Common examples of marital rough patches include trust issues, unresolved resentment, unmet needs, and a loss of connection with each other.
Are you facing something similar in your marriage? This is a period to fight for your relationship harder than ever. In this article, we will discuss four tips to overcome a marital rough patch and strengthen your bond.
Start With Communication
Marriage is one relationship where it is vital to realize that the two are on the same team at all times. No matter what, it is always you both against the problem and never one against the other. A simple shift in mindset can work wonders for your bond.
Naturally, this cannot be possible without 100% transparent and authentic communication. After all, you are two extremely different and unique individuals who have decided to come together for life. So, keep all lines of communication open with your partner.
Identify areas where there is a blockade, sit down, and have a heart-to-heart talk even if the conversation might be uncomfortable. Express your current feelings and needs to each other. Share any concerns and try to rebuild the lost connection. Sometimes, it can be as simple as asking why things suddenly seem off in the relationship.
Let’s look at what honest and open communication would involve –
- Share your thoughts just as they are, even when they are negative. This will help address key issues directly.
- Pay full attention to your partner’s perspective, allowing them to express themselves without any interruption. Actively listen to what they say and validate their feelings.
- Avoid the sense of blame by turning accusatory remarks from “you did” to “I feel.”
- Respond and do not react impulsively. Let kindness and understanding guide your response.
- Choose not to argue about surface-level issues and try to get to the root of the conflict.
- Accept responsibility for areas you went wrong and forgive your partner wherever necessary.
Schedule Quality Time Together
In some cases, all it takes is some quality time in each other’s presence to rekindle what seems lost. Psychology Today considers quality time to be a period of providing undivided attention to one’s partner. Busy work schedules, different interests, and tensions can drive a wedge in this area.
When that happens, you will find each other where you left off. In other words, revert to spending quality time through a movie night, romantic date, or slotting some time in between the sheets.
Keep in mind that some people’s love language is quality time together. If your partner is one among them, they will feel rejected or uncared for when there is a disconnect in this area. Here are some effective strategies to create quality time for each other –
- Block out certain calendar days just for the two of you. If that becomes difficult due to hectic schedules, you can even keep it as simple as a daily check-in.
- Fully focus on your partner by putting away all distractions like phones and other devices.
- Discuss beyond superficial topics and focus on meaningful ones like concerns, thoughts, feelings, etc.
- Be fully engaged in the special experience and avoid multitasking even in your mind.
- Make it a priority to regularly appreciate the good in your partner through verbal reassurances.
Consider Professional Help
Sometimes, the relationship pattern is such that things may seem to have gone out of hand. Despite persistent efforts on both sides, there may be communication gaps, intimacy issues, insecure attachments, and unhealthy conflicts.
When such a pattern exists, resist the urge to throw in the towel. Many couples choose the destructive route of shutting down and closing themselves off completely. This will only widen the chasm you’re trying to seal. A healthier option is to seek professional help.
In the intro itself, we mentioned two crucial areas of professional support. Marriage counseling is all about improving the overall relationship and the satisfaction each derives from it. You will find resources to overcome individual differences, toxic communication patterns, and unhealthy family dynamics.
As for sex therapy, the aim is to improve intimacy through addressing physical and emotional challenges. According to Denver Couples & Sex Therapy, it will help you foster deeper connections and communicate boundaries, desires, and concerns.
Depending on your unique relational issues, you can schedule a session. Do not hesitate to seek professional help because it can and does save marriages from falling apart.
Keep Divorce Off the Table
If there is one word that is a death wish for your marriage, it is ‘divorce.’ Leave the idea of separation for deep-seated issues like abuse. Even in the heat of a conflict, you must be careful never to mention it to your partner.
This is all the more important when you’re trying to preserve your bond and overcome obstacles in your relationship. Bringing up divorce is counterproductive as it can damage communication, erode trust, and create unnecessary insecurity.
Your partner will view it as a manipulative tactic and disconnect further. Even if you don’t mean it, simply mentioning it to your partner can subconsciously weaken the commitment in your relationship. Keep in mind that all marriages go through rough patches.
Whether or not this is the first time for your marriage it certainly won’t be the last. Choosing healthy communication and vulnerability, even when you don’t feel like it, will work better.
In the end, it’s difficult to predict when a marital rough patch will show up. It’s even more difficult to put a hard deadline on such dry and trying periods. What eventually counts is how you work through your differences and get to the other side.
