You know that saying, ‘The Grass is Always Greener,’ well it’s true- especially when it comes to my life. Many people think I have the perfect life. I get paid to look good – what’s better than that? But I want to tell you, it does get better and sometimes (no, most of the time) I wish I was there.

If I talked about this publically you guys would hate me. Seriously, my million plus social media followers will probably respond with something like “ ahh, poor little rich girl ”. To most people, I have everything they could ever dream of- but that’s the problem, I dream big.

I’ve always wanted more, ever since I was a little girl. My mom didn’t have a lot of money so we bought from second-hand stores. Yes. I wore other people’s clothes. I didn’t want people at school knowing this, so I got really good at accessorizing and recognizing good quality and labels. No one suspected how bad off I really had it.

It was hard sometimes. My friends would invite me shopping and I’d go. There I was, with $20 in my pocket and they’d be dropping $500. I’d say I wasn’t interested in what was in the store. I’m not sure they believed me.

It’s the same thing now. Yes, I can be seen around some of the most famous people in the world. You’ve seen me at A-list parties in thousand dollar clothes. But just like in middle school I don’t quite belong. I have $20 while they are spending hundreds, sort to speak. I have a million followers, they have 2. Let’s not even start to talk about properties!! Compared to them, I shop in the clearance section.

I could always go back. I could always hang out with those making as much as me. I could live where I grew up. I could shop conservatively – but why would- no, why should I? I do this life so I could have something better than what I started off with.

Unfortunately, that constant want for something better never seems to stop with me. I always need to have a little bit more than I do. It keeps me motivated and is probably one of the reasons I’m as successful as I am. I like what I have, but there’s always room for just a bit more.

Sometimes I wonder though, how much is enough? Will it ever be good enough for me to simply be the best house on the block? Will I always be looking at the fancier neighborhoods and planning a way to get my house over there? I don’t know, really. For now, I just plan to live this life as hard as I can, dreaming as big as I possibly can. My reality may have me struggling to keep up with those around me, but at least I have hope that I will one day catch up.